Monday, August 15, 2005

Random thoughts as the Codeine wears off

Five days post surgery: slowly recovering from the vertigo and pain. Getting used to the sensation of fullness in the right ear. Enjoying my new ability to take two-hour naps.

CI surgery has now been done on over 100,000 people worldwide.

The most famous person with CI, Rush Limbaugh, had bilateral implants done in 2003, after he successfully melted his inner ear hair cells doing massive amounts of hillbilly heroin.

Hard to say what the success rate of CI is, especially because it’s hard to determine what “success” is. Rush is still doing his radio show with his implants, but he’s still a prick…is that success?

I would guess about 80-90 percent of implantees hear as well, or better with their CI.

After CI, my ear will be wherever the implant microphone is located. This could be in the CD player, in the next room, in the bedroom down the hall. This could be very useful for spying. Do they need deaf spies at the CIA? They seem to have plenty.

Yes it’s hot. Noodles?

The recovery room should be called the weep and moan room. Really, that’s just false advertising.

Tinnitus is noise in the ears. It is actually much more common in deaf people who wear hearing aids then in the general population. The ears of deaf people hear less sound, but are much more sensitive to that sound. So too much noise and tinnitus starts.

Tinnitus is different for every deaf person. Mine sounds like waves or gurgling water. Sam’s sounds like a voice saying “shoulda bought the bmw, shoulda bought the bmw.”

Tinnitus comes and goes, except in Sam’s case. Hopefully, his surgery on Thursday will cure it. Otherwise, he may lose his mind.

I watched sweaty white men play golf for five hours yesterday, which leads to this point: television sucks. I watched 6hrs a day last weekend just to confirm this.

CI Movie notes: it is cathartic to share one’s struggles with disability on camera. Sam, Ben and I all agree on this. Making the movie has forced us to look at our struggles in an open and honest way, which has been emotionally wrenching and growth-inducing.

K, now where are the babes?

Hearing impaired deafness is a “hidden” disability. Blindness is an obvious disability, signing deafness, still obvious, though slightly less so. But the hearing impaired deaf person is alone with his or her disability every day in situations he or she is not properly equipped for. Two thoughts on that: search deep in yourself for solace and you’ll find it there, otherwise, hit the Scotch.

Idea for a bumper sticker: deaf people do it carefully, until their hearing aids are knocked out, then they do it quietly, afterwards they say “whaaa?”

Needs work.

Notes from the campaign speech of the first deaf candidate for president: My fellow Americans, I cannot believe what I have lipread these last four years…

Fact: the Inca of South America saw deaf people as holy men, and would always consult them before the start of a battle or of an important journey.

I made that up, in fact, they usually killed deaf people to spare the expense of feeding them.

I made that last fact up as well, I have no idea what the Inca did to deaf people. But you believed the second one didn’t you?

Fact: deaf people get in less traffic accidents then hearing people. I did not make that one up. This comes from our paying closer attention to what we are doing out of necessity. Closer attention to everything we do -- need to work this into the bumper sticker.

Question: if everything can be worked out with diet and exercise, why was it ok for Tom Cruise to wear braces?


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